Ulysses AGM at Mt Gambier

So here we are, early o'clock on St Pat's Day and we're off. By 'we' I mean Gordon O'Donohue (GOD) and myself. Some people look at me strange when I say I ride with GOD – then I introduce him! This is a blokes only trip because our wives, Teresa and Beth, have to work. Now that has some good aspects but also some bad ones too. We can go round corners as fast as we like, don't have to stop as often, don't have a 'domestic' every time the tent goes up - but it's still strange not having Teresa with me.

The latest addition to the inventory was a 40 channel UHF CB radio. GOD and I could talk to each other and an added bonus was listening in on the truckies' channel for info about police radar and speed cameras. We had numerous warnings so they probably paid for themselves several times. Talking to each other above 80 kph turned out to be a problem though, too much wind noise through the microphone. I guess I should have used my full face rather than Nolan jet style.

Now, having planned the route a few weeks earlier, what could be more logical than a last minute change? Alright, we'll head through Woodenbong rather than take the Lions Tourist Road. It's a bit shorter, no dirt, good corners but parts of it are bloody atrocious.

I bottomed out the suspension quite a few times and questioned my state of mind in taking this bloody road again. A few km after Woodenbong the surface improves and there are some good sweeping corners to keep you amused.

We joined the Pacific Highway at South Grafton. It was reasonably quiet for a Sunday and the absence of police was a bonus. We made reasonable progress, sitting on 110 kph but had to forego an invitation to drop in at the Ambulance Station at Wauchope for a cuppa. Sorry Paul. Paul is a Ulyssean ambo who rides an Ultra Classic. Instead of the Ulysses AGM he went to Perth for the HOG rally.

We turned off at Medowie, heading for GOD's daughter's place. Seeing as it was St Pat's Day, we just happened to pull into the Bull and Bush for a Guinness and so GOD could make a phone call. Thus began the 'N1 overspeed'. A trip to the bottle-o saw me with a few Guinnesses and GOD with a few 'Dark and Stormies'. GOD's daughter, Tracy, is an accomplished horsewoman and after listening to GOD's woes of a sore backside, brought out a gel pad. Unfortunately GOD left it behind. More unfortunately I left it behind too! We did about 900 km that day.

Awoke next morning with a clear head although GOD was a bit fuzzy. A not so bright and early departure time either. On to the freeway, into Sydney. I hate this place – nothing but traffic and traffic lights. We stopped for a coffee in Liverpool and then headed down Heathcote Road towards Wollongong. The radios came in handy when GOD turned left instead of right onto the highway.

We pulled into Batemans Bay for fuel but didn't stop for a look around. There were plenty of ACT registered cars around and it turned out to be Canberra Day. A day off, just for working in Canberra! Maybe we should ask for Queensland Day to be made a public holiday! We continued on, going through some nice country with plenty of sweepers and a few tight bits just to keep us on our toes. We were sitting on 110 kph and making good time. At Cann River I asked GOD whether he wanted to pull in for fuel. He calculated that he could make Orbost with what he had remaining so we pushed on. Well, he was right, we made Orbost but somebody forgot to tell 'em we were coming. The servo had just closed and the bit.. err… woman refused to open up again. Shit! She told us there was another servo down the highway and we could get fuel there. By this time, GOD was running on fumes but we made the servo, only to find it had closed 15 minutes earlier. Shit! Not a soul in sight. Now Lakes Entrance was still around 45 km away so we pushed on anyway. About 15 km later, GOD ran out of juice. We limped into a roadside stop and decided to siphon some juice out of the ST. A quick search of the rubbish bin found a 1.25 ltr soft drink bottle and in amongst the 38 kgs of tools GOD brought along was a length of hose. We managed to fill the bottle and poured it into the tank. Problem was the bike didn't want to start. Just then a 4WD pulled up (diesel unfortunately) and I decided to push on to Lakes Entrance to get fuel for me and a can for GOD. I told him not to keep trying to start it 'cos the last thing we needed was a flat battery. I arrived at Lakes Entrance to see the bloke in the servo packing up for the night. Ahhhh shit! I grabbed the hose and stuck it in the bike and asked him when he was going to close. He said 'in about 45 minutes'. I explained the predicament and he told me he didn't have a can. Bullshiiiit! I bet if I wanted to buy one it would magically appear! I headed back and saw a single light heading towards me. It was GOD so I turned around and followed him. There's a hill just before Lakes Entrance and if he could get up that we wouldn't have to push it. As we approached the hill, GOD started throwing the bike from side to side. Damn! He's out! The CB1100 didn't quite die though and had enough momentum to make the top of the hill. From there he coasted down the hill and pulled up next to the bowser. It turns out the old bloke in the 4WD asked GOD whether he'd pressurised the tank to overcome the vacuum fuel tap. GOD took the cap off, sealed the opening, blew into the tank and the bike started instantly. That's the first time I've ever heard of anybody giving a bike a blow job! We continued on to Sale and stayed with Stout and Shannan, friends in the Air Force. We talked until late and had a look at their collection of 'toys' – Suzuki, Honda, Kawasaki and Yamaha, a couple of them in varying states of restoration. GOD worked out we'd ridden 1,035 km that day.

Tuesday dawned wet. We must be in Victoria!!! Damn! We'd decided to head to Portsea, get the ferry across to Queenscliff and stay at Torquay. This would keep us away from Melbourne traffic and put us at the start of the Great Ocean Road for the following day. There was no hurry, it was a 'short' day. One great thing about Victoria is that it has terrific roads, so we took our time. We hadn't seen many bikes until now but that was about to change. We followed the signs to the ferry and the car park was full of bikes. It seemed like everyone had the same idea as us. We met Alastair and Avis MacDonald – finally, after passing each other several times on roads around the Downs and Lockyer Valley. They'd been on holiday for a while and had come down through the Snowies. That's the way we planned to go home.

We paid for the tickets, rode the bikes on board and went above decks. The weather was now perfect with clear skies and almost flat water. One of our main concerns was stability of the bikes. We needn't have bothered, the big catamarans are very stable. Ride off at Queenscliff and follow the signs to the Great Ocean Road. The caravan park at Torquay is right across the road from the pub – bonus! We set up the tent next to Alastair, Avis and their niece from Melbourne, and headed across. After dinner and a few drinks, and a few more drinks, we poured ourselves into our sleeping bags looking forward to attacking the Great Ocean Road tomorrow.

Woke up to a fine day and no dew. Packed up ready to ride. Another relatively short day, but where the bloody hell did all these bikes come from? And of course we were still in Victoria so just a bit later the clouds rolled in and it began to rain! Luckily it was only in patches so we could enjoy the 'good bits'. Several times we found ourselves behind groups of riders and you could sort them into categories: fast cruiser riders – fast on the straight but no cornering clearance; slow cruiser riders – just slow; novices – fast on the straight but lacking confidence in corners; experienced riders – just fast (we were overtaken by a few of those); and BMW riders – Gucci BMW, Gucci BMW helmet, Gucci BMW wet weather gear and Gucci BMW attitude… all Wasting Money in a grand Bavarian manner… and enjoying it!

We didn't see any kids going ballistic – probably because it was a working day - and for most part the motorists waved us past.

The scenery was spectacular along the coast and some of the little towns are really picturesque. Further along, the road heads inland. We were riding well within our capabilities - but at about twice the speed on advisory signs (plus) - when we came upon a downhill right left combination. At the last instant I saw corrugations right through the corner. Faaaark!!! I yelled out a warning to GOD (remember the CBs?) and tried to yank the bike upright to brake. Too late? – Almost! The front wheel started skipping across the road but kept traction and squirmed around the corner. Thank God for the new tyre. The other GOD reckoned he got some warning via the radio but couldn't make out the words. I don't think I swore… I was also thankful Teresa wasn't on the back otherwise we may have had a change of underwear stop!

We pulled into the tourist trap for the Twelve Apostles and took a few photos. By now, the wind was incredible and the rain patches were more frequent. The ST was getting pushed off line regularly and the rain didn't help the visibility any. We had lunch at Port Campbell and had a good yarn about the Great Ocean Road. Yes, it really is Great, but so is the Oxley, the Gillies, Mt Glorious and the Adelaide Hills! By this time the sun came out so the wet weather gear came off.

We rode directly to Mt Gambier and registered at the Lady Nelson Centre. There were bikes everywhere and like, every other AGM, lots of friendly faces. From there we went to the showgrounds to look for a campsite. We were looking for the Burnett Group when we saw what could only be described as 'South Queensland Corner' with the Glasshouse Mountains, Lockyer and Darling Downs mobs together. Several of the Downs mob called us in and indicated a place to camp. They hadn't seen the Burnett Group.

It seemed funny setting up the tent without a 'domestic'. Teresa and I usually get into an argument about something or other but it all went smoothly. It turned out the Burnett Group were just at the end of the row anyway. Bugger it. We've set up the tent, it's hardly worth moving now! We'll give 'em some lip later. Of course, by this time we were fairly thirsty so the next stop was the 'refreshment' stand. Well, we didn't move from there until just about stumps. The curry for dinner was pretty good but GOD talked me into having an argument with the 'Bundy Bear'. Bundy rum and cola was $3.50 a tin so we gave it a nudge.

Next morning I knew for sure that the Bundy Bear had won the argument. I don't think either of us were well so we hung around the showgrounds, visited the trade displays then, when we were feeling better, headed into town in search of a laundromat. A look around town while the washing was doing its thing found me in a saddlery, enquiring about gel pads. Unfortunately they were a bit beyond the budget but more about that later.

While at the trade displays, the Honda people said the new ST1300 was 'due tomorrow'. They had bikes for test rides including an impressive water cooled V-twin (I think it's a 650 and called a Deauville). I was tempted to go for test rides, especially on the VFR 800, but I knew a new bike was out of the question. Other manufacturers also had bikes out for test rides but I resisted the urge. Finally met up with Mick, Chris, Barry, George and Mildred from the Group. Exchanged news and retired to the bar. A good night - stayed away from Bundy!

Friday. The official 'first' day and brilliant sunshine. The ST1300 arrived. I sat on it. I got off it. I walked around a few other stands, sat on a few other touring bikes including the FJR1300 Yamaha. I walked back and sat on the ST again. The ST1300 wins. It's lower, has great ergonomics and seems to have a lower C of G than any other tourer. Unfortunately it wasn't available for test rides. Bugger! New price is around A$25,000. Hmmm…

GOD and I spoke with Mick Smith, well known in racing circles and a member of the MA Road Racing Committee. It was an interesting conversation concerning the future of bike racing in Australia. We also spoke with a Pommy bloke at the Triumph stand. Also very informative. Seems like Triumph may be going racing! Before I knew it, it was time to attend a meeting of 'U-2', a Ulysses Yahoo group that keeps in touch over the Internet. At last it was good to put faces to the names regularly seen in print. GOD went for a snooze. Alastair had told me there was to be a meeting of OzSTOC members at McDonalds at 3 pm. Sorry, missed it.

Friday night's 'Meet and Greet' function was held in huge tents, probably the same ones used at the Barossa AGM. Total area under canvas was about a hectare. Over four and a half thousand people all getting on famously. The band was called 'The Cruisers' and they played some good rock n roll. A reasonably early night…

Saturday – the big day - parade, AGM and main function. The parade through town was huge! We lined up in rows and waited for starters orders. There were ST1100s everywhere! When the word came, I got separated from GOD and the group. Never mind. People lined the streets as the bikes made their way to the official reception. One spectator said he had his video camera on for over 50 minutes with bikes filing past continuously. I met up with the Burnett mob again at the park but didn't find GOD. An interesting point during the official welcome was that they expected the Green Triangle region to benefit to the tune of six to seven million dollars thanks to Ulysses, and the follow on effect was incalculable. Representatives from Mudgee were there and commented that 'The Green Triangle Group has raised the bar.' Got to admit, it'll be hard to beat this one! I went for a ride and visited the local attractions including the Blue Lake and the Sink Hole then headed back to camp.

The AGM was held in the afternoon. We didn't go.

The Saturday night function was terrific. The food was good, the company great and the entertainment was excellent. I haven't spoken much of the entertainment but each night there was either a solo artist or group playing. Saturday night's entertainment was the Victoria Police Show Band and they were an outstanding choice. The theme of the function was WWII, so the music included jazz , blues and swing. A few people dressed up for the occasion and that provided some additional entertainment – particularly the 'nurses' with their white stockings and suspender belts. It's worthy of note that OzSTOC member Rooster Pettingill organised the entertainment and did a bloody good job! Megan on the other hand was 'minister for everything' and the pair of them really helped make the meeting a great success.

Sunday – another hot day. Rather than the organised run to Portland, GOD and I had a relaxing day riding around the local area and visiting tourist traps. We also modified the CB microphones with foam and electrical tape. It improved GOD's a fair bit, but mine only a little. Word from riders when they returned said the ride through Portland was as good as the ride through Mt Gambier. The council had made several streets 'bikes only' and the locals turned out in droves. Only problem was it was “stinkin' 'ot!” That night we had a few more Bundies but had an early night in preparation for the next day.

Monday – rain – shit! Packing a wet tent is no fun especially knowing that it'll be wet next time you put it up. After saying our goodbyes we headed toward Portland to see it for ourselves. Quite a nice town with a working port and friendly people. We stopped for a coffee – and to warm up a bit – before heading off into the rain again. The rain eased but the roads were wet in places so we took it easy. Even so, we covered quite a few kilometres comfortably. We stopped at Warrnambool 'Maccas' for lunch. Their toasted sandwiches aren't bad. Back on the road. We'd decided to go over on the ferry again and try and get as far east as possible before nightfall. We ended up in Koo Wee Rup - in the rain. We enquired about accommodation at the pub but there was none. We were directed to the motel just down the road. Neither of us felt like sleeping in the wet tent so bugger it! Hang the expense!

Tuesday turned out to be the most miserable day of the trip. Shit… more farkin' rain. After riding around in circles in Pakenham trying to get our bearings, we finally ended up on the freeway to Bairnsdale. We pulled into a servo to refuel both bikes and ourselves and I christened the place 'Port Misery'. There were lots of wet bikes and riders there and the dark grey skies made it really depressing. Thankfully the staff in the servo were good. We made the decision to give the alpine roads a miss. It was pretty disappointing because we were looking forward to riding through the Snowies. We headed east to Cann River – and this time we even refuelled! We turned north onto the Monaro Highway. What a magnificent piece of road! Great sweeping corners and good road surface. We were riding slightly above the speed limit even though it was raining. I mean, it wasn't busy. We arrived in Canberra and enquired how to get to Ngunnawal, where we'd been invited to stay the night at some good friends' place. A quick phone call to Pete and Sandra to give them a 'heads up' that we were on our way. We found the house and rode two very wet bikes complete with very wet luggage and very wet riders into the very welcome dry garage. An even more welcome shower and loan of washing machine and dryer made sure we had clean, dry clothes for the rest of the trip… well, at least the next day.

Just for something completely different, we left Canberra in fog the next morning. At least it wasn't raining… that came later. Because the weather forecast for the coast was miserable, we decided to head up the Hume towards Sydney and join the Pacific Highway further north. GOD was in front and I was hoping he'd bypass Sydney on the western side – but he didn't. We found ourselves in another Maccas eating more toasted sandwiches and drinking coffee. GOD said we should stay at his daughter's again that night. By this time, my arse was getting really sore so I agreed with him. Previously, a few minutes off the bike was enough to ease the discomfort but now it was starting to hurt not long after I got back on. I should never have got the seat lowered. I also wished I'd bought the gel pad at Mt Gambier. At least the weather was fining up. We got onto the Newcastle Expressway. We were quite a few miles north of Sydney when overtaken by a VW Polo, an Astra, a WRX and a BMW. Now it seems these clowns were running their own race. As they came up behind slower traffic, the WRX drifted towards the Astra, swerved back and then deliberately cut him off and pushed in. I wondered when they were going to touch. It reminded me of the British Touring Car series on TV. And people call bike riders nuts! We arrived in Medowie unexpected but welcome and at least we were almost dry. Another social night with GOD's daughter, partner and some friends.

Thursday saw us continue north towards Coffs Harbour. It was a fairly boring trip and of course it rained again. We detoured and pulled up in Bellingen at my son Chris's place. With quite a few hours of daylight left, GOD decided he'd push on for home, which was still about six hours down the track. I stayed and enjoyed dinner and a few ales at the local tavern with Chris, his fiancée Michelle and her family. Actually, it was more than a few and Chris woke up next morning nursing a hangover.

Chris, Michelle and I headed home fairly late due to his hangover. Michelle rode pillion on the ST, which is a lot more comfortable than Chris's Katana. Sorry, forgot to mention it was also raining. Being Good Friday, there were police everywhere. Luckily, Chris had just rebuilt the engine on his Katana so he had to go slow to run it in. A stop at Casino for lunch – Maccas again – and then take the Summerland Way and the Mt Lindsay Highway. We came upon a 'gravel on road' sign on a fairly tight corner. It looked like a standard road repair but when the front wheel hit, the bike started to slide. I immediately straightened the bike in order to brake. The gravel was about seven centimetres deep. Poor light and shadows can be deceptive and it scared the living daylights out of me! A bit further down the road was a similar 'repair'. At least I was ready for that one. As we got closer to Queensland, the weather got better. Maybe the tourism advertisement is correct… “Ahhh! Queensland. Beautiful one day, perfect the next”. At least we were out of New South Wales with its exorbitant speeding fines and double demerit points on public holidays. I think they're trying to scare people off the roads on long weekends. The rest of the ride home was fairly boring on familiar roads. I got quite a shock to see the state of my driveway. Rain has worn a couple of grooves into it so care is needed when riding either up or down.

After an absolutely fantastic time, it was nevertheless great to be back home. Back to a comfortable bed, wonderful home cooking and the usual domestic routine. 13 days away, nine of them on the road. 5,500 km travelled (approximately). Fuel prices ranged from 73 cents/litre in Queensland to 99 on the Great Ocean Road. People we met along the way were amazed that we'd ride such a distance, particularly in bad weather. But then again… a bad day on a bike beats a great day at work anytime! By the way, the brand 'DriRider' does not describe how waterproof their products are. Although my jacket was OK, the gloves weren't, everything in GOD's jacket pockets got saturated and so did everything in his brand new bag. Can't beat Givi top boxes!

Let's see… Mudgee is 4, 5 and 6 of April next year… how many days before we leave? And Geelong is the year after… we can ride the Snowies… but is it going to rain?